If I’m not careful, the delightful legs of Chii will surely over power me in ways I can only ever dream of. So let’s check out what Miya’s got to offer me. She is after all my number one Berryz. It would, by all intents an purposes, be obsurd not to want to delve into some sort of unhealthy obsession over her. Lets see if we can make something happen.

Well, to be honest her Wiki.theppn.org page is a waste of time. Maybe I’m just not feeling it, whatever that should come to mean, but for some reason I find her profile so very uninteresting. To be honest I only raised an eyebrow at her being scared of monsters and cockroaches. But then, you’d be some crazy bastard if you found monsters a bit of a laugh, and cockroaches a bloody good time. Really, there’s nothing excitable about that. Like Chii, Miya’s easy to anger, although she differs by being a little shy. On the one hand, groping a shy girl is pretty damn sexy. On the other hand though, she might just stab you. I guess not knowing which reaction you’d get is a bit of a turn on, although somewhat dangerous.

Apparently her charm point is her small ears. What? Has she felt up her chin lately? It’s a pretty epic piece of biology, that thing. An architect needs to blueprint her face for something magical, because somehow I want a house in the shape of it. I’d have slides coming from her nostrils and leading into some sort of underground weapons factory. Although it’d produce weapons that shoot out rainbows or something. The world’s full of bullets already. What we need are love rainbows. Miya ones.

Moving onto her recent B.L.T U-17 questionare though, it’s a little more interesting and current. It looks like Miya’s confidence is growing somewhat, what with her declaring she has no weaknesses. Now that’s what I like to see in my girls. A little bit of fight. Not enough to scare me off, but enough to curb or contradict that alluring shyness she reckons she possesses. Apparently she’s also feminine and sometimes cool. Well that’s definitely a bit of win. I cant ever see butch, manly women being my kind of thing in all honesty, so it’s good news that Miya’s a pansy at heart.

Get this: she was 6 when she had her first love! When I was six I was wetting the bed and blaming it on aliens. Can you form crushes at 6? I’m deadly curious now. I think my first crush was at 10, and I guess you’d consider this as being a late bloomer then? Hmmmm. There’s more on the questionnaire and I admit that I pilfered through a lot of the answers, but there’s certainly room for Miya to cement her place at the top of my Berryz Koubou ranking list. I guess I’m going to have to work at it some more though, because Chii’s dangerously close with her being damn right bumpylicious.

With Miya, she’s like the Kamei of BK for me. On my side of things I want to share romantic situations with her. Whereas Chii is kind of a dirty thing for me right now. To be honest the former is a lot more important for me, regardless of my filthy mouth sometimes, and so I suspect that Miya’s going to stick around for a long while to come.

(Screencaptures from Miyabi Natsuyaki Making DVD Special Edition from 2007)

I guess these hamomoni@ official pictures of Usa-Sayumi are trying to tell us something.

And my answer is of course: “Yes, please, I want to play your games, sensei Sayu!”

This happened for me last week. To make long story shorter…

I was laying at home on my futon couch and looking at Koharu. I was pretty surprised because she was sitting on me with her legs outspread, smiling at me and talking something. I didn’t understand a word. Maybe I was just too amazed on that situation so that my ears didn’t hear nothing else but kind of chaotic symphony.

Now you might be thinking about something really lewd & sleazy scene but I swear we both had our clothes on. Koha was wearing pink set of t-shirt and sweat pants and her hair was tied in ponytail. Very casual but also girly.

So there I was staring up at Koharu who was then writing something on her tiny notepad. To be honest, there was one question spinning in my mind: Should I do my first move? After all, I’m a normal man and she is a sensual girl.

When she had done her writing she handed me a small sheet she had ripped off from her notepad. I took it and saw a row of numbers on it. Then, first time, I clearly understood what Koha was saying.

”Please give me a call. Promise. I must go now”, she spoke and got up.

And at that moment I woke up and realised it was only dream I was experiencing. Not a wet dream as you can guess but just an ordinary dream. Or maybe not so ordinary after all. It’s very rare that I can remember my dreams. And when I had Koharu in my dream it was even more unique case.

If I only could remember that phone number she gave me.

Well, my progression into the land of Berryz Koubou has really, really taken a back seat to almost everything else H!P related, and indeed anything J-pop related. Oh dear. Still, there’s always something to ramble on about, as pointless as it may be.

Now, I realise that Berryz Koubou are worth the trouble of obsessing over, yet I just cant seem to ground myself into a good, unhealthy amount of fixating yet. I’m sure it’ll come once I get off of my ass, and there was a brief period where I crammed over much of BK’s discography for, well, for a week, but right now I’m using my time for other things. Chinami, where’s your Photobook already? That ought to do it. And then some.

You shouldn’t dare expect thoughtful writing on my trying to obsess over BK, you must know that. We’re at the beginning here, where I’m purely driven on my sex-drive. It’s primitive, sure, but then nothing else has captivated me just yet. Wait, apart from a b-side…and Chinami. I know Miya rated first on my member rankings and that still sticks, but sometimes you get horny, and anything after that is only ever Chinami. You know I’m right. Catch me on a day when I’m swearing metaphors at you like some bastard poet and things change just a little, but right now it’s pretty damn evident that I’ve reverted to being a pervert.

Clearly I want to talk about Chinami some more, so lets just write what comes naturally. Obviously, this series of mine has no real structure, and I love it.

Chinami:

There’s no doubting that I’ve got wiki.theppn.org open right now, right on Chinami’s page. It’s the only way to learn about future I cant stop thinking about you idol crushes. Well, not always. You should see how shit AAA’s pages are. Great, Nissy, I know when you were born. Now how do you like your coffee in the morning? Which side of the bed do you want? And the rest please.

Apparently, Chinami sleeps with her eyes half open. Not that I’d ever get to experience this rather bizarre quirk of sorts, I can still imagine. It’s pretty terrifying, and I can imagine that it’d look absolutely hideous. I mean, she’s in a sloth, vegetable state, and there she is gawking at you, or something. I couldn’t sleep next to that, I’m sorry. It’s the pillow cover for you Chii. With the nose shapes cut out for breathing so you don’t die. I’m not ready to do jail time just yet. I’m saving that for the knife fight my friend and I are going to have in the future, by a mountain range boasting a waterfall. We’ve already predicted that I loose though. So unless they want to haul my corpse into a cell, wait…what am I going on about now?

Also, Chii’s supposed to get mad straight away when she doesn’t like something. Great. I’ve been saving a lot of bad jokes for someone. And when I go in for a grope she can tell me she’s not happy with my dirty ways, and then it’ll be too late by then. Security will be punching me in the face but my arms will still be caressing as best they can until they fall off or something. Still, what’s Chii’s meat to bone ratio? - oh god, I should really phrase that better - could you seriously get a good cuddle with her? I mean you just know you could engulf yourself with JunJun, and it’d be like some magical cushion with boobs and legs and face and bum cheeks. Could Chii boast such an awesome hug? Don’t ask how I got from getting mad to groping.

Oh, she doesn’t like mushrooms. I’d love to chase her down the street throwing mushrooms at her from my wicker basket full of mushrooms, in a giant, oversized, comically misguided mushroom suit. I personally love mushrooms myself, and have even been known to take them raw. I wonder how this would effect our imaginary relationship, which so far consists of pillowcase wearing of the head when sleeping, groping and mushroom suits.

Chii likes badminton. Superb! I love badminton. She hates ice-skating. Me too! We have so much in common. We can hit a shuttle cock about together whilst we talk nasty about people who like the ice, clearly morose about it because we’re both shit at it. Maybe we can go to a rink and throw potatoes at them, like little trolls or something. We’d make good, evil, potato wielding trolls I think. What do you think?

There’s more on there, mostly standard fare. The fact that I’m twisting simple things into stupid things is evidence of that, really. But she seems fun enough. So yes, I’d like to be her boyfriend please.

Man, can someone update her details though? They’re dated to 2004. I’m hoping her hobbies are now in fact dreaming about wu-san. You never bloody know, do you?

I wonder if Zush will post this? It’s a tad ridiculous.

Last night I kind of surprised myself. I was watching Morning Musume’s Resonant Blue Lesson Studio Version. My mind was blank as can be. There I sat and watched my laptops screen. Girls were rehearsing & dancing in a studio dimmy lights on. I thought this is once again those cheaply made alternative PVs UFA kindly offers us.

But that was not the only thought I had in my empty mind. I was staring intensely at Koharu’s bum which was swinging in that pink jogging suit. How it moved here and there and almost everywhere. How thight and tasty it looked. And then! No, wait, it wasn’t only her bottom that glued my eyes on her. All her body moves were full of erotic innuendo. How she moved her legs & arms, how she arched her body and how she turned her head so that her long ponytail whiped the air. I almost smelt her scent. Sweat & light perfume. God, I truly have a vivacious imagination.

I thought it would be much harder for me  to accept the fact that Koharu Kusumi is the hottest girl in Morning Musume today. But it wasn’t. Wonder why. I’m not yet convinced if she is my top one girl in MM now but I know for sure that pure sexual attraction is present when I see Koha dancing.

This rather surprising observation led me thinking how I see those other MM girls in this sexual context. And more surprises were coming up. This is very interesting indeed.

My number one MM girl Reina turns out to be quite mild in this light. Her loose panties make it just worse. Even more non-sexual MM members in my eyes are Aika and LinLin. Actually LinLin is there at the bottom of all.

Then I have this undefined fuzzy zone where girls are kind of in between hotness and just-cuteness that in it’s worst case is commonness. Ai, Risa and Sayumi are all in this group. Although Sayumi is always super cute, because she is born to be cute, she in various associations can also be sexy girl. Sexy in very innocent way. In this Lesson Studio Version she is only cute.

I’ve still two girls remaining. Can you hear it? Sexual attraction alarm bell is ringing loudly. Two more shocks? Eri and JunJun! Can’t be? But it’s true. Those girls are very sexy right after Koha.

Eri has been bubbling under quite a while but now her appearance in this PV version makes me finally completely convinced: She also has it. Pure sexual attraction. Her calmness and slight shyness makes her even more attractive. Eri’s face expression in PV’s close-up scene do not need any illuminating words.

What about our crybaby JunJun then? She definitely has strong erotic aura on her even though her dance movements are still quite clumsy. And she has weird sense of humour. Well, I also have. And she stands out from others because she does not talk Japanese yet so well and she is also quite tall girl. But you don’t need to be a perfect person if you have IT. That’s JunJun. Somehow I see JunJun quite close to Sayumi. I really can’t explain why that is so. When Sayumi is cute all of the time JunJun is sexy in every second in her own lovely phlegmatic way. Sounds weird? But that’s how I see & feel it.

If we look back for Morning Musume’s evolution it clearly shows that today group is the most sexual oriented one out of all other versions. In the begining MM looked mature and had stylized & controlled erotic touch. When MM’s songs became more catchy & pop and when younger members were joining the group their presence changed towards cuteness. Of course there has always been a hint of hotness in MM but it has come out more along with individual members than a group image.

When Koharu, 7th generation Miracle Girl, joined the gang in 2005 Morning Musume’s erotic signals got louder. Was it because Koha fit so well to Tsunku’s & Up-Front Agency’s plan to change MM’s image more sexy and grown-up? In this case that does not mean that artists should also be adults. I’m talking about image. Maybe there on the background was also pressure to answer those challenges coming from Japanese record industry and changing taste of consumers. Or maybe it was just time to accept the fact that sex sells better than cuteness.

This evolution towards the sexier image is not a fact only in Morning Musume’s case. If you have eyes, you have seen that it’s happening almost all over Hello! Project. Tsunku’s Dynasty offers us more hotness than ever.

My role here is not to be a moralist. Many times people who consider themselves as moralists are the worst ones with double standards. I myself have only one standard: I like Koha’s bum, Miya’s hip, Chinami’s legs an all other things I’m not going to list here.

I’m back writing for Zush, is basically what this is. I couldn’t be happier in all honesty. This place used to be a great hangout for sure, and I miss it. Speaking solely for the forum, I made many good net friends on here, and many sadly have moved on to other things. Life has a way of, well, getting in the way. I haven’t been on the forum myself for a good few months either. Bummer.

Anyway, I’m back and hopefully Zush will be also, in some not too distant future. I know his ‘Berryz Kobo International blog’ is doing well to find it’s feet, and that’s fantastic.

Speaking of Berryz Koubou then, I’m going to attempt a blog post on them. Considering I know very little - still - about the group, this should be interesting. Perhaps for the wrong reasons. Anyway, it’s an excuse to study up on my BK in the up and coming months.

I suppose I should start with my members ranking. Don’t expect anything substantial though, I mean, I make it a mission not to take notice of Yurina. Not the best of starts.

1. Miyabi - I call her ‘MiMi’, and I have no idea if it’s an accepted nickname already, but it’s pretty cute I think. Reminds me of something cuddly but sexy and, well, just plain sexy. Funnily, I don’t think of Miyabi as physically all that attractive. She’s got a long face which is just terrifying really. When her hair isn’t going all mental the proportions seem less odd however, and just like an old school friend who had a massive chin worthy of it’s own fan club, once he started to grow a little, the rest of his face compensated for his awkward looking noggin. He still looks like a douche though, whereas Miyabi is just, Mimi. Wonderful.

After watching a few - two - DVD magazines, I knew Miyabi was my number one straight away. She was laid back, considerate as an idol, and just genuinely easy to get on with. At least that’s how I‘m guessing. I love it when she gets all flustered and appears awkward. Simply, I find that very attractive. She’s up at the top because I can see myself dating her. She’d make me very happy anyway. You kind of see how my fandom works here. There you have it. Miyabi rocks my socks, and Zush will say ‘I told you so’.

2. Chinami - She’s just awesome really. A bit of a comedian and always willing to talk and host and jive and, everything. A real dynamic quality about her, for sure. She’s got an awkward look about her too, and sometimes she looks completely away from herself which I find odd, but certainly interesting.

I find her very physically appealing. Very, very much so. Her squinty smile should be a little off-putting, especially when she bites her lips with her teeth, but I just love it. Her voice is something I cant begin to comprehend either. Clearly, I have no idea what I’m on about, which was always part of the fun with my learning about Morning Musume.

3. Saki - Adorable, this girl. I love how she wears her hair, and whilst it’s nothing beyond conventional, much like her looks actually, I totally dig it. A leader who I’ve yet to see do anything. I’m willing to wait around on this one. Beyond that, you’ll find no other reason for my liking her at this point.

4. Momoko - Cute, and deceptively good at singing - to a point - Momo is always going to be hard to ignore. The end. For now.

5. Risako - My mother would adore Rii to no end. I just know it. That strangely means a lot to me, and I’ve let my mind wonder into the land of dreams on that one. My mother passing down anecdotes to Rii of my childhood whilst they go about bonding over some home made cooking. Anyway, Rii’s got old fashioned looks - and a mushroom nose - which my mother would want me to marry into. I think she’s trying to get ‘her’ perfect grandchildren you see. Probably wouldn’t work out too well if I had my way and started dating OG’s Mika. Ha! Yes, I’m the Mika fan club. Just me.

I really hate Rii’s singing voice. Not to say she cant sing of course, but I just don’t like the tone. I still cant believe she was born in 1994. I mean, what the hell? That’s certainly more dangerous than Momusu’s Aika. She’s at 5 because although I could grow to love her, I’m not there yet. Not by a long shot.

6. Maasa - I don’t like her.

7. Yurina - This is actually very bizarre. She reminds me of an old friend back in Malaysia. I haven’t seen her since forever, of course, and who knows what the hell she’s up to now. All I know is, I really, really liked my friend back in Malaysia, and whilst any memory of her is of only a few, they’re vivid and slightly hallowing. Yurina looks like her, quite a bit actually. I just don’t want go there to be honest. It’s totally unfair on Yurina, but god . . . I just don’t want to go there.

There you have it. My rankings. Simple and akin back to my blogging style back in 2005. I guess this is how I write when I don’t know what the f*** I’m talking about. Fun times.

Now it’s time to reveal which were for me the most stunning H!P dance numbers in last year’s H!P concerts. Stunning here means also breathtaking experience because that’s what these three performances really were.

Wild wild wild

Maimi Yajima is amazing dancer! She is one of the best dancers in H!P today. If even the best. When I saw her movements in Tokaikko Junjou PV my heart skipped some beats and I was mesmerised at once.

Maimi’s solo number in Natsu DOKI Lipstick song from C-ute Live Tour 2007 Aki ~Houkago no Essence~ DVD is really captivating. She proves to have good sense of rhythm, flexible body and hot appearance. You know what I mean when you look how Maimi moves her hips.

Now when we know Maimi’s skills I just hope that UFA does not try to push her to solo career (not yet) and follow the tracks of Maki Goto (never).

Strike a pose

Berryz Kobo’s two concerts at Saitama Super Arena on 1st April were the most remarkable achievements on groups career so far. Memorable concerts with so many awesome moments. You can sense the intensity Berryz girls felt on that evening when watching 2007 Sakura Mankai Berryz Kobo Live ~Kono Kandou wa Nidoto Nai Shunkan de Aru~ DVD.

Every Berryz concert documentary has it’s own very special numbers. Sakura Mankai has at least two stand outs. It’s cool when the whole group performs their first single Anata Nashi de wa Ikite Yukenai with original choreography but even cooler for me is Chinami’s and Yurina’s version of Nicchoku ~Geinoujin no Kaiwa~.

Girls are walking along the catwalk like professional models and looking absolutely stunning with their grand posing & leg movements. Saki or Momo can not do this kind of numbers. You need long legs to make catwalking enough effective. So which one wins then in this model competition? Full points go to Chinami. She just gives much more of herself to this dance routine. Natural born model?

Cat fight

In a fact this last one was performed in Morning Musume’s 2006 concert Aki ~Odore! Morning Curry~ and was released as DVD on 27th Dec 2006. But I bought and saw it in the beginning of 2007 so you understand why it’s here.

My eyes were popping out when I saw Eri and Hitomi doing this Shabondama number. Eri has always been very entertaining in her own personal way but I’ve never before seen her as wild and violent as when dancing this song. Shabondama [Soap Bubbles] is one of the most furious songs MM has ever recorded. It’s about uncertainty in love and life. Love is like soap bubbles. Nothing lasts forever.

Both girls are dancing this piece with strong, rough and aggressive manner. They are fighting against each other. Hitting, kicking and shouting like she-devils. When Hitomi kicks Eri down to stage floor and Eri starts crawling on her all fours, I just keep gasping for breath and thinking how cool and to the point going this choreography actually is. One of the MM’s all time classic dance numbers already.