It\u2019s been quite a year. Zush said it a few days ago and well, it made me want to say it to. Putting my original Idea on the shelf for a week, I\u2019ll try and entertain you with my reflections on the year \u2013 a year which has seen me ignore my educational responsibilities, pick up a book for the first time in years, discover the best band in the world and being given the opportunity to write about it all. Did I mention I met some pretty neat people along the way? I\u2019ll try and keep it focused, I don\u2019t want to be self indulgent here, just honest.\u00a0<\/p>\n
The death of Zush<\/strong><\/p>\n Not quite as drastic as that, although I\u2019m assured, the pain was just as good. I trust his judgement. Zush, headman of Kakko-ii and a good friend went M.I.A for two days. Now, that\u2019s not really that long. Yet recently, Zush has been a regular on his forum. I\u2019ve been able to ponder on all sorts of issues ranging from the state of Morning Musume right down to the distaste of a certain brand of White beer with him. Now, my family hasn\u2019t had the best of times in recent years, a runaway farther isn\u2019t exactly brilliant, especially when he\u2019d been such a good role model for me and my sister and a great husband to my mother in the past. He was a good man, at least for the better part of my childhood. Quite frankly, it makes you appreciate the finer things in life, that\u2019s not to say I\u2019ve lived my life to the fullest. Often it\u2019s quite the opposite. One thing life has taught me; be glad to meet good decent people. I\u2019ve been gifted in that respect I\u2019m sure, to have seen many bright lights walk into and out of my life, I can only be thankful (and I am). But as life would dictate, \u2013Once like a spark\u2019. Life moves on and so do friends. At a time in my youth when everyone is going in opposite directions, the sparks that took so long to burn slowly turn their backs on you, and fizzle out like a slow death.<\/p>\n I\u2019m thankful to have met Zush for sure. I know we\u2019re just \u2013net friends\u2019 but still, a good friend is a good friend all the same. At the very least, if I ever did meet the guy, I\u2019m sure we\u2019d have plenty to talk about over a few bottles of beer, in a nice bar, his choice and hell; I\u2019ll buy the first round.<\/p>\n When he told me why he\u2019d been inactive for two days, I was stunned. \u201cI was in Hospital\u201d the first thing I glared at when an email came through. Zush had been hit suddenly with Kidney stones which, as the subtitle suggests, felt pretty much like death. Of course I was worried after hearing this. When a friend feels like he\u2019s nearly died, well, it doesn\u2019t call for champagne. Thankfully he\u2019s ok now, perhaps too ok. He told me this had given him time to finish his blog, which he\u2019d been absent from for two weeks. When it was posted up, his reflection on the year was quite touching for me. Partly because I agreed with almost everything he had to say\u00a0on H!P\u2019s year in the trenches, it was the personal touch that\u00a0made it very real. I smiled when I read it anyway. This consequently made me reflect on my year, a year which has made me question my life. Sounds like the beginnings of a very tired cliché right? But it\u2019s true, though sadly, the whole self-discovery thing is a little too late, story of my life.<\/p>\n A year of Morning Musume<\/strong>\u00a0(you wanna blog about it!?)<\/strong><\/p>\n I know when I ramble on about H!P, especially when it concerns Morning Musume, I talk as if I was there from the very beginning. I was definitely \u2013not\u2019 there in 1997. In fact I can tell you, as a kid growing up at the time; I was still getting high off the Spice Girls, chasing my school girl crush, and playing a lot of soccer down the park with friends.<\/p>\n The beginning of my summer vacation was the beginning of my love for everything (almost everything) H!P related. I\u2019ve known about them for less than a year then, yet I go on about Tsunku\u2019s empire as if I was part of the team that helped monopolise a large portion of the Jpop scene for many years. I\u2019m sure I\u2019m not the only one to get wind of Tsunku\u2019s franchise late though.<\/p>\n Once you fall for the charm of his Idols, there\u2019s really no turning back. I may talk like I know it all but I don\u2019t mean to. I\u2019m just passionate about the cause. I think every blog writer should be thankful for having the opportunity to ramble sweet nothings to an audience. And if you are able to attain a readership, good or bad press, you should be bloody thankful. Whether you\u2019re gifted the chance to write or crafted an opportunity or outlet to do so, I think you have a responsibility to write truthfully, objectively and of course, inspire us all with subjectivity. I\u2019ll leave it to Ray Mescallado of Americanwota to digress into the realm of what a \u2013good\u2019 blogger should be. I trust his insight a lot more than I do mine. I also happily go along with his appraisal of Craig from Your opinion doesn\u2019t count. We may not vent our anger or delights in the same manner, but I love his brashness just as Ray does. He sometimes pops into Kakko-ii to; we rarely exchange words if truth be told. But we\u2019ve certainly bashed the reputation of England together a few times (it\u2019s ok, we\u2019re both UK citizens).<\/p>\n I\u2019m still learning my craft as a writer, god knows I\u2019ve written some bad stuff, but I\u2019m happy to be along side every blog writer who writes about Jpop. Morning Musume is a timeline, an ongoing history that persists to this present day. Regardless of whether you joined the party from the conception of Morning Musume or whether you were won over by the exploits of GAM, we\u2019ll all follow the same timeline eventually. Who hasn\u2019t looked back at an early Utaban or Hello! Morning and said \u201cThose were the good old days\u201d? We all get hit by nostalgia yet, we were never there (well, some of us have missed a fair bit). Why do it then? When you\u2019ve been going strong for almost 10 years, though I\u2019m sad to say recent MM have seen better days, you\u2019re going to gather quite a scrapbook of moments. This is a group that was never just a group, more a companionship of sorts, a family. Anyone who reaches out to those many moments becomes part of the extended family thereafter. I just pull out the pictures and write about them. You have the final say, that\u2019s what I think anyway. I just hope I\u2019m doing my job right.<\/p>\n Can I get Jam with that?<\/strong><\/p>\n In the hope of becoming a better qualified H!P fan I joined Kakko-ii.com in the summer. I had tried a couple forums before and a couple since. It\u2019s fair to say that some see more activity than Kakko-ii, some even offer more goodies to the loyal customer. But frankly, many of these forums contain a lot of pretentious bastards\u00a0& crazed fanboys. Kakko-ii has many members on its books, and I\u2019m sure many enjoy the great picture archives that Zush Kindly shares, there\u2019s more to come to ^__^ but the forum\u2019s active members are quite small. This isn\u2019t all that bad. Big forums are often impersonal affairs, too many members, too many posts overlooked or ignored; no one can quite keep up. Kakko-ii is a small hub of comrades. We all know each other quite well and we get on.<\/p>\n Other than Zush, one other member has really captured my imagination. Her alias on Kakko-ii is Jam-a 14 year old girl from Finland. It\u2019s been cheekily talked about once or twice before *looking at Craig of Your opinion doesn\u2019t count* that there maybe something more going on between us. With there being a 6 year gap, the very first thing to say is \u201cno\u201d. I\u2019m sure Jam would be quicker than me to deny such a mischievous remark. However, I feel we get on very well and I\u2019m happy to call her a good friend. They\u2019re in short supply at the moment, I\u2019ve still got a few left, hell, I go to university with one of them but most are living there own lives now, trying to find a function in life. I guess I should be doing the same (discussed later). But Jam and I have many things in common; we can certainly talk about food forever. This confuses us both. Her school nurse suggests she could put on a little more weight and me being a university student, a meal a day is common place. Don\u2019t look at me like that; the beer money has to come from somewhere. We also share the same views on many Jpop related subjects and well, sometimes we talk about all sorts of crap. Maybe this friendship works because I often forget I\u2019m twenty, and I\u2019ve met people well into their 30\u2019s who have very little colloquial skills whatsoever, Jam could talk circles around them no problem.<\/p>\n Kakko-ii is, if I can be so crude as to say, \u201cTotally awesome\u201d. I\u2019ve met two people I could happily call family and the roundtable we sit at (when we can) promotes a fair bit of conjecture on all sorts of things on and off topic. I can only say its fun. A quick mention goes out to \u2013Kimi\u2019 who has only recently joined the ranks. He\u2019s a fellow Malaysian and a good upbeat guy, I met him before on another forum, I\u2019m sure he\u2019s following me. LOL I\u2019m joking of course.<\/p>\n Ray Mescallado (I owe him my blogging badge)<\/strong><\/p>\n If it wasn\u2019t for Ray Mescallado I probably wouldn\u2019t be blogging right now. Upon reading one of Zush\u2019s posts, Ray happened to notice one of my comments- a lengthy few paragraphs of something or other. This got me noticed and soon enough I was a blogger. Sometimes life is as simple as the fact, though it often isn\u2019t. This time I got lucky.<\/p>\n I decided to mention Ray in my last blog, actually, I pretty much grabbed him to come take a look. I of course meant it as it was written-an apology for his benefit as I know he reads Kakko-ii posts. I really didn\u2019t know whether he would enjoy the read. There are different levels of liking someone, especially when it comes to Sayumi Michishige and I couldn\u2019t gage how much he liked her. Sorry Ray, I wish it was a bit of Irony. I\u2019m just not that clever. This being a blog entirely on Sayu, I wanted to give him a heads up. Upon reading his earlier works it\u2019s now clear to me he loves\u00a0her, my bad. Is it too late to say “I meant it as a Joke”?<\/p>\n I\u2019m a reader before I\u2019m a writer and Americanwota.com is a sure-fire way of accessing the good reads with ease. Every week I wait for the Sunday blog roundup to see what he has to say. I love his style of writing and as a critic; he\u2019s by no means afraid to have a dig at himself. His opinion obviously counts for more than he\u2019d like to take credit for. A few fellow bloggers whose work gets reviewed by Ray each week come to see how well they\u2019ve done. I\u2019m not gonna lie, If Ray loves what I write and praises it, I\u2019m pretty darned happy with myself. I don\u2019t want to embarrass him though, I\u2019m just saying, he\u2019s a respected guy within the blogsphere and I certainly appreciate his musings.<\/p>\n Overall, a weird year<\/strong><\/p>\n Oh dear, this has become more personal than I\u2019d have liked, I know you\u2019re thinking the same. I blame Zush\u2019s Kidney stones and latest blog for my sudden change of topic :P. Maybe it\u2019s the season, a time when we all look back on the year and say with a smile \u201cshit\u201d. I know I\u2019ve got my regrets. A certain girl works at a Chinese food shop on Fridays near where I live at university. The countless times I\u2019ve gone in for her number and come out with a bunch of noodle snacks I didn\u2019t want, \u201cOh for F*\u00a3$ sake!!!\u201d. Truth be told, I love the food, reminds me of happier times (the years spent visiting my birth place-Malaysia and relatives in Singapore). But still, I\u2019d rather have her number, this girl is beautiful and more importantly, Chinese. Though my mother has no problems with who I date, I know deep down she\u2019d love for me to end up marring a Chinese girl. Being half Chinese and half Malay myself, I feel I have an advantage. This is not the case at all. Not with my woman skills. At least the food is good; god knows I need a few more test runs.<\/p>\n University has been a drag, I have lost all passion for what I do and frankly, I\u2019ve failed my second year. I\u2019ve taken up reading with delight, never have I read so much so profusely. It\u2019s all non-fiction of course, mostly about all the places I want to visit in the future. I have a passion to explore the world. It\u2019s never that grand to be honest. But still, I\u2019m sick of England and have eyes only for Singapore. I\u2019ve been there many times in the past and I love it to death. If someone offered me a job there, I\u2019d gladly become an expatriate. Japan should get a mention. I\u2019d live there to, it\u2019s probably obvious right? Travel writing has caught my attention the most, some very good reads. If you asked me what I wanted to do it would be to travel write for a living, Malaysia and Singapore certainly, as the written texts on both countries are virtually non- existent. I reckon I have a travelogue in me somewhere. If anyone wants to give me a job by the way, just say. I have no problems in becoming an expat, seriously, I don\u2019t. I have no clue who I am, but I have dreams now, as unattainable as they are, they\u2019re still my dreams. It took me the best part of this year to figure it out, but I got there. Somehow, it\u2019s a very hollow victory.<\/p>\n H!P has seen one hell of a year to, Zush pretty much covered all my thoughts on the issue however, read his blog and you know where I stand. The end of the year has seen me fall in love with writing, Japan, H!P and Jpop\/rock in general, fall out of love with university-the repercussions of my actions will surely surface when the time is right. Life seems pretty dead-ended. But hey, I get to blog about something I love, that\u2019s surely something right? Oh boy, I\u2019m in serious shit when the academic year draws to a close, serious shit indeed. How to describe this blog? Stupid comes to mind, I know Jam says I call myself stupid too much, but it\u2019s true. All I\u2019ve done is wine on about my year. Perhaps it gives you an insight into a blogger\u2019s mind and or life. I\u2019m sure it\u2019s far less romantic than that, I know it is.<\/p>\n Raise a glass<\/strong><\/p>\n Here\u2019s to everyone that\u2019s mattered this year, including with my warmest regards, all the above who were mentioned. Wow, this blog is long, even for me. Don\u2019t worry though, normal blogging will resume after this. A special raise of the glass has to go to Zush, he lets me blog my ass off :). Am I here to stay? I hope so.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It\u2019s been quite a year. Zush said it a few days ago and well, it made me want to say it to. 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