KAKKO-II.COM BLOG

Well, my progression into the land of Berryz Koubou has really, really taken a back seat to almost everything else H!P related, and indeed anything J-pop related. Oh dear. Still, there’s always something to ramble on about, as pointless as it may be.

Now, I realise that Berryz Koubou are worth the trouble of obsessing over, yet I just cant seem to ground myself into a good, unhealthy amount of fixating yet. I’m sure it’ll come once I get off of my ass, and there was a brief period where I crammed over much of BK’s discography for, well, for a week, but right now I’m using my time for other things. Chinami, where’s your Photobook already? That ought to do it. And then some.

You shouldn’t dare expect thoughtful writing on my trying to obsess over BK, you must know that. We’re at the beginning here, where I’m purely driven on my sex-drive. It’s primitive, sure, but then nothing else has captivated me just yet. Wait, apart from a b-side…and Chinami. I know Miya rated first on my member rankings and that still sticks, but sometimes you get horny, and anything after that is only ever Chinami. You know I’m right. Catch me on a day when I’m swearing metaphors at you like some bastard poet and things change just a little, but right now it’s pretty damn evident that I’ve reverted to being a pervert.

Clearly I want to talk about Chinami some more, so lets just write what comes naturally. Obviously, this series of mine has no real structure, and I love it.

Chinami:

There’s no doubting that I’ve got wiki.theppn.org open right now, right on Chinami’s page. It’s the only way to learn about future I cant stop thinking about you idol crushes. Well, not always. You should see how shit AAA’s pages are. Great, Nissy, I know when you were born. Now how do you like your coffee in the morning? Which side of the bed do you want? And the rest please.

Apparently, Chinami sleeps with her eyes half open. Not that I’d ever get to experience this rather bizarre quirk of sorts, I can still imagine. It’s pretty terrifying, and I can imagine that it’d look absolutely hideous. I mean, she’s in a sloth, vegetable state, and there she is gawking at you, or something. I couldn’t sleep next to that, I’m sorry. It’s the pillow cover for you Chii. With the nose shapes cut out for breathing so you don’t die. I’m not ready to do jail time just yet. I’m saving that for the knife fight my friend and I are going to have in the future, by a mountain range boasting a waterfall. We’ve already predicted that I loose though. So unless they want to haul my corpse into a cell, wait…what am I going on about now?

Also, Chii’s supposed to get mad straight away when she doesn’t like something. Great. I’ve been saving a lot of bad jokes for someone. And when I go in for a grope she can tell me she’s not happy with my dirty ways, and then it’ll be too late by then. Security will be punching me in the face but my arms will still be caressing as best they can until they fall off or something. Still, what’s Chii’s meat to bone ratio? – oh god, I should really phrase that better – could you seriously get a good cuddle with her? I mean you just know you could engulf yourself with JunJun, and it’d be like some magical cushion with boobs and legs and face and bum cheeks. Could Chii boast such an awesome hug? Don’t ask how I got from getting mad to groping.

Oh, she doesn’t like mushrooms. I’d love to chase her down the street throwing mushrooms at her from my wicker basket full of mushrooms, in a giant, oversized, comically misguided mushroom suit. I personally love mushrooms myself, and have even been known to take them raw. I wonder how this would effect our imaginary relationship, which so far consists of pillowcase wearing of the head when sleeping, groping and mushroom suits.

Chii likes badminton. Superb! I love badminton. She hates ice-skating. Me too! We have so much in common. We can hit a shuttle cock about together whilst we talk nasty about people who like the ice, clearly morose about it because we’re both shit at it. Maybe we can go to a rink and throw potatoes at them, like little trolls or something. We’d make good, evil, potato wielding trolls I think. What do you think?

There’s more on there, mostly standard fare. The fact that I’m twisting simple things into stupid things is evidence of that, really. But she seems fun enough. So yes, I’d like to be her boyfriend please.

Man, can someone update her details though? They’re dated to 2004. I’m hoping her hobbies are now in fact dreaming about wu-san. You never bloody know, do you?

I wonder if Zush will post this? It’s a tad ridiculous.